hi all. its been a while, it is good to catch up. by the way, i often struggle with what exactly to share with you…insights into current studies, comments on current events, life experience, etc. with that in mind, i would love suggestions or requests…as in what are your thoughts on …?
i guess today, i am thinking of a hybrid. kind of a cross between current events and biblical insights that would help everyone of us be a bit more like jesus. here is what i mean.
i am sitting here listening to “the health care summit”. one of the absolute truths of communication is that communication necessitates that at least one person is listening. therefore, i am not sure there is any more communication at this summit than say on the “jerry springer show”. we all like to tell others what we think, but we are not so quick to listen to another point of view, and even worse, when we do appear to be listening, generally we are simply thinking of what we will say when the other person pauses. that is not listening. listening is an active exercise in trying to understand what the speaker is saying, feeling, thinking, what they have experienced, etc. the reason this is important is any response that is not based in understanding is gonna be off track and simply muddy up the conversation. so with that in mind, may i humbly make several suggestions, which when applied will help us become better listeners…and that in turn will revolutionize our communication. (i often refer to our society as a “talk show culture”, perhaps we can change that by becoming better listeners)
1. when conversing with another, pay attention, do not let your mind wander.
2. maintain an open mind even if what is being said is different than my point of view, by evaluating what is being said i demonstrate a willingness to learn.
3. do not stop listening when you hear something you don’t like or disagree with.
4. do not jump to conclusions, assuming you know what they are gonna say.
5. recognize the other person knows what they mean, better than you do.
6. do not use listening time to prepare your rebuttal. work at understanding what they are saying.
7. avoid defensiveness and/or excessive explaining of yourself.
8. avoid glib, hasty advice.
9. be slow to correct the speakers point of view.
10. avoid telling others how they should feel, think, or respond to a matter. (only do this when you are asked to do so)
11. do not interrupt, be a patient listener, let them speak.
12. learn to ask summarizing questions that reflect back to the speaker what you have heard.
13. refrain from using emotions to short circuit communication. crocodile tears, guilt, intimidating response’s, insincere apologies, an unwillingness to understand or accept another’s feelings all hinder the process of communication.
14. when another is speaking, use your entire being to listen…ears, eyes, mind, posture, etc…soak in the non-verbals.
hope this helps. blessings. vince
hi again. just wanted to fire off a follow-up to what i mentioned last time. the lead up to the superbowl was filled with outrage from the supposedly pro-choice groups because a previously unseen advertisement by focus on the family featuring tim tebow and his mom had been approved by cbsto air during the game. even though they had not seen the ad, they were sure it was offensive, inappropriate, even dangerous. as such it should not be allowed to air…isn’t that what has often been called censorship? and aren’t these “left leaning” type groups generally opposed to censorship? isn’t the aclu always jumping to the defense of those who’s speech might be censored? hey, we do not want to prohibit the child pornographers from plying their trade. we don’t want to start banning books like nazi germany. you have heard it, i have heard it, blah, blah, blah. but i digress…
anyway, we have now seen the ad. wow. i see what all the protest was about. i have never seen such an offensive, inappropriate, dangerous ad…just kidding.
it was about as innocuous as can be. the most common description is it was “sweet”. i cannot imagine why anyone would be upset with this ad, nor could i see any basis for criticism. but wait. just when you think the whole thing will blow over, all the aforementioned offenders mentioned in last weeks blog come to the rescue. what was it that rahm immanuel said about this type…they were some kind of…my point is you can count on these type of ideologues to cling to their ideals, even when to do so makes you look incredibly stupid.they cannot address the abortion issue based on this ad, it was so non-threatening in content you could not tell it was a pro-life commercial. so what do they come up with??? violence against women. seriously. they condemn this commercial because it depicts violence against women. tim tebow, using special effects of some sort, tackled his mom. it was part of the humor. i do not know how anyone…anyone…could see this as a serious tackle. but i have learned to never underestimate human nature.
jesus taught us to expect opposition from the world. the pro-abortion crowd is always going to oppose anything that challenges the idea of abortion on demand. humanism has been at odds with gods rule from the garden on.
he also taught we can see specs in the lives of others, but be totally unaware of logs in our own. how true. this mind set is so closed to truth they cannot refer to an unborn child in the womb as a baby. even when an ultra-sound clearly shows that is exactly what it is. they cannot see it…but they sure can see violence against women, even when it isn’t there.
james taught us about worldly wisdom (see james 3:13-18). how it can be detected, its characteristics, how it operates, etc. in this passage, james uses the phrase selfish ambition to describe worldly/humanistic wisdom. this phrase would refer to a factious, party spirit that often characterizes politics today. it describes a willingness to twist words, distort truth, say or do anything mentality in order to get my way or achieve my goal. this is exactly what these supposed “pro-choice’ groups are doing. say anything to bad mouth focus on the family and the pro-lifers.
i grew up back east, just outside of philly. i tend to tell you what i think. as i look at this outrage in the lead up to the superbowl, and now post superbowl, i would summarize it this way…they stepped in it. big time. one of my professors in seminary used to suggest it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool, than it is to open your mouth and remove all doubt. if you happen to know terry o’neill, the president of the national organization for women, could you pass that advice on to her? she needs it. just back away from the microphone slowly before you say something even more foolish.
oh, while you are at it, could you ask her where the protest for betty white being tackled in another superbowl ad is being held…i’d like to attend. i find those kind of things so uplifting, maybe they can ask sarah palin to be the key note speaker. haha…couldn’t resist.
so what is the point??? as a christian i am never surprised when the moral values of god’s word are attacked. it is to be expected. i cannot control this. but what i can do is…1. love my neighbor as myself (many of those who attack christian virtue do so because they have been hurt and do not know how else to respond in life). 2. love my brothers and sisters in christ, especially those who are at the fore front of attack. (as we bear one another’s burdens, we fulfill the law of christ, we demonstrate we are following jesus, and we are stronger than we could ever be on our own). 3. try my best to shine as a light of the world, as the salt of the earth…this is who i am, what i am in christ. this is how christ plans to change the world…one person at a time.
will you join me? blessings. vince
hi everyone. i was wondering if you have been following all the controversy surrounding the focus on the family super bowl commercial featuring tim tebow and his mom, pam? apparently this ad, unseen by everyone other than focus on the family, cbs, and the tebow’s has caused quite a stir in the feminist community. the national organization for women, the women’s media center, the feminist majority foundation, planned parenthood, among others have all come out in opposition to this unseen advertisement. their opposition takes many forms, but the common denominator is the ad should not be aired. i do not want to get into a debate on abortion. it also seems ridiculous to me that this ad would be opposed by women’s groups when many other ads seem to be much more “sexist” in nature (i have watched the superbowl on several occasions, i have seen some of the ads, can anyone say “go daddy”…just a thought). no, i don’t want to get in that debate.
but i would like to raise a question. each of the aforementioned groups opposing this ad claim to be pro-choice. i don’t know about you, but when i hear “pro-choice” i think…well…they would be pro (for, in favor of) choice. is that label accurate in this case? let’s see. pam tebow, a missionary in the phillipines at the time, gets sick while pregnant with tim. the doctors advise an abortion because the medicine is dangerous for her unborn child, tim. she exercises choice…she chooses to not get an abortion. (do you see why i am confused???) some 20 years later she tells us about her story in a superbowl add put out by focus on the family. the commercial is called “celebrate family, celebrate life” and all these pro-choice groups rise up in opposition to…choice. on what planet does that make sense.
here is what i think. in an age of political correctness and poll tested speech, these groups have figured out pro-death, pro-abortion, choose death, celebrate death, and similar tag lines probably wouldn’t be well received. so, they call themselves pro-choice. but it is obvious they are not pro-choice. if they were they would stand with the tebows and celebrate her choice. since they oppose the telling of her story, and her story is a story of choice, what other conclusion can i come to? they cannot be pro-choice.
and this is just the tip of the ice berg. they don’t seem to mind the “go daddy’s, beer commercial stereotypes, women are sex objects” advertisements that we have seen all over the airwaves, soooooo, can we call them pro women??? seems to me these pro-choice, pro-women groups have some explaining to do. you are welcome to wait around to hear it, i have better things to do with my time.
as they say…1 picture is worth a 1000 words…and what a picture. until something drastically changes i think all these type groups ought to be labeled pro-death or pro-abortion. maybe they can produce their own commercial…i can see it now…get rid of the human parasite that is free loading on your body…don’t think of it as a baby, think of it as a tumor…or a blob of cells with no connection to humanity, maybe they can have an ultrasound shot with some kind of appeal for women everywhere to kill their unborn children and then they can bring up the tag line…celebrate abortion, celebrate death. i guess that’s why they have to oppose the tebows, they don’t really have much of a counter argument. tell me what you think?
