Vince Deagler

last week i blogged on how difficult it can be to integrate our faith into real life.  to me, here is another example of just how difficult it is.  now, let me mention a few things that i think are pertinent to this discussion. 

i am not an expert in the military.  therefore my insights into the don’t ask, don’t tell policy that has been debated recently is beyond my experience and knowledge.

the bible clearly speaks to the fact that homosexuality is a sin (both old and new testament make this clear).  but it is no different than any other sin, in that sin is sin.  i am focused on the nature of sin when i state this, not the actual behavior.

i guess what i am saying is, i’m not sure our faith is gonna guide us in the discussion of don’t ask, don’t tell b/c if we didn’t let sinners in the military, well we would have no military.  whether it is a good idea to change the policy regarding gays in the military, in my humble opinion, should be a military matter (they are the experts) and definitely should not be a political issue.  the one thing korea, vietnam, iraq (both wars), and afghanistan have taught me with great clarity is politics and military matters don’t mix well.  politicians should allow the military to run the military.  the military is not a place to do social engineering, it is not designed to be politically correct, it exists to defend our nation.

but that raises another question that we can wrestle with.  we live in a changing world.  the idea of moral absolutes has been replaced with situational ethics, tolerance has been redefined to mean acceptance of everything as equally valid, political correctness trumps truth.  that reality is not arguable, and creates a very real problem for us as followers of jesus.  here is what i mean.  christ believed in and taught moral absolutes.  scripture embraces tolerance in non-moral areas, but never endorses the idea of accepting sin to be anything other than sin, and as such it is to be rejected.  and overwhelmingly the message of scripture is that the truth shall set us free, we are not to deviate in any way from truth, even when that truth may be counter cultural.

so, how do we as christians stand for truth, speak the truth, but not be perceived as unloving?  i ask because i have had several discussions with my fellow christians where this exact question was raised.  it was in the context of a sermon on the subject of homosexuality, where we were evaluating the delivery, and a comment was made that if a homosexual had been there, they would not have felt loved.  as the discussion continued the reason for this was pegged to the content…the bible presents homosexuality as sin.  that is when the question, just how can we believe and speak the truth, and not come off as unloving, was raised.  what do you think???

to a certain extent, in a large group, with a lecture format, as most sermons tend to be, i don’t know if it is possible to come off as loving to everyone.  people have a tendency to hear what they want to hear. so in that setting, if homosexuality is presented as sin…well to some that is just plain unloving.  that is all they will hear.  if, on the other hand, there is too much “love” talk…homosexuality is not clearly presented as sin, well some are gonna conclude the truth was not presented, that somehow the message was compromised to accommodate sin.  it is almost a no win situation, and guess what, its not just homosexuality.  premarital sex, cohabitating without marriage are basic norms in our society among heterosexuals…its not homosexuality, but it is sin, it is wrong, how do we speak to it, or any other sin without coming off as unloving?

well, i’d  love to hear your thoughts on this, here’s mine.  i think the key is relationship.  as a pastor i am charged with speaking the truth in love.  as i do this, say in a sermon, if you do not know me, if we have no relationship, it will be very easy for you to see me as unloving.  but that all changes when we have a relationship.  the truth hasn’t changed, but if in the context of our relationship you have seen my heart and you know me as someone who actually cares, you will not see me as unloving.  you will see me as one who disagrees but still cares.  i have friends who happen to be sinners…all kinds.  guess what, i’m a sinner too.  as we relate to each other, i am trying to help them live for god just as they are trying to help me.  at times it looks like 2 drunks leaning on each other struggling down the road.  and it is a struggle, and we do it imperfectly.  truth can be offensive, i do not know how to avoid that reality.  even jesus offended people.  but in a relationship, where we have loved, truth can and will be heard differently.  so perhaps the answer is the developing of healthy relationships where we can speak the truth in love to each other and in so doing we can grow to be like jesus.  let me know what you think.